Letter to myself . . .

Dear 8-year-old Adam,

I am writing to you, two decades later filled with years of experience that have helped me learn, change, and grow in every way imaginable. Twenty years ago I thought I knew everything in the world, but man was I wrong.

At 8 years old I told you not to give up hope on anything in life because everything you hated about who you were, would form the most important aspects of your existence and identity. I knew you would find yourself during some point of life, but at 28 we are still here lingering together. One thing we have found is acceptance, friendship, and even love, this is not in spite of any of who you are, but precisely because of it. I told you all these things in truth, but there’s so much more to the story. At 8 years of age, I was lost and still trying to figure out who I was, and find my place in this crazy complex world.

As I am writing you now, let’s not even pretend that I have everything together and figured out, but I am so ready to tell you more of your story. With twenty years of hindsight, I can tell you how all the things you are struggling with have come together to help you begin to create a life beyond anything you could imagine.

In this letter I want to share with you everything I wish you knew. I want to impart to you some of the lessons I have learned through the obstacles of life over the last 20 years. I know I’ll never be able to fit it all into this letter, but I will do my best.

You, the boy who has yet to find his place in this world, will learn to stop trying to hide, go unnoticed, and apologize for dearest existence. You will find a way to accept yourself in the difference that you have, instead of always casting around for a different one.

I promise you, you won’t regret being yourself as much as you will regret spending years hiding from who you are to appease everyone else. Take up space, and don’t apologize for it. Your stories and experiences are worth telling, and a life worth living. Learn to take more pictures, even when perfection is no where to be found. Perfection is not what makes a memory important. Document those memories family and friends, and allow yourself to be fully present in every aspect of life. Enjoy those perfectly imperfect moments of your existence.

I can’t promise you that everything is perfect even 20 years ahead, but I will tell you that most of the time it is better than you ever dreamed. You have risen and overcome challenges that nobody could have ever predicted. Life is a journey, but it’s one worth taking, and even when things get hard, I want you to know that they will get better, and you will overcome and defy all odds. In time things definitely turned out so different than you have imagined, but that doesn’t mean they will not be amazing.

To conclude, I want to encourage you to keep pushing and moving forward. There’s always room for learning and growth. Take that journey in figuring out who you want to be, not who everyone else expects you to be. Don’t ever stop fighting for what you believe in, and don’t ever stop challenging yourself to add light into the darker places of the world.

– Adam